Pushing reset

If you know me, you know that this past summer I had a quite rigorous, real-world reporting internship that did wonders for my confidence, journalistically and otherwise. It was a wonderful experience in which I accumulated nearly 50 clips on a vast range of topics. It was difficult and eye-opening and exhausting and formative.

Looking back at the first two weeks of the semester, now completed, I realize how little I anticipated the challenge of readjusting to being a student. For two and a half months, I was an employee. Granted, I was the youngest person in the newsroom, had the least experience and often had to work unusual (/intern) hours, but I was treated as an equal by my coworkers and my editors treated me with the respect afforded to a regular employee.

But two weeks ago, I was back in a lecture hall. I no longer felt like I was creating, but producing. Filling orders. Checking off daily tasks so as to maintain the GPA I’ve worked hard to keep up for four semesters. I like the breaks in between classes where I can do my own thing, but I already miss being paid to learn and to write.

It’s frustrating to want to channel my passions into my work at the Missourian but not having as much time as I’d like to be in the newsroom. I’m attempting to support myself with a part-time job this semester on top of homework, school and extracurricular responsibilities, getting enough sleep, making sure I’m mentally and physically healthy and maintaining happy relationships with my friends, boyfriend and family.

The good news is this: I feel more positive and generally happy than in any semester of college so far. I’m starting to get the hang of tackling my responsibilities while not neglecting myself and those I care about. I’m consciously working to find joy in things that stress me out or things that I dread. I’m eliminating things in my life that aren’t conducive to a good day-to-day experience. I’m running again.

It’s all a process, I guess; a readjustment.

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